- I make mistakes and that I am doing the best I can. That mistakes define us just as much as our successes.
- About the different cultures of the world, including hers, because she’ll be adopted. The things schools and the media overlook. How to respect them and treat them as equal forces in the world. Exposure is key.
- How to genuinely listen to a person.
- How privileged she is to be living in the United States and that, even on her poorest day, she is still very lucky.
- To be motivated by passion and not money. That work ethic is crucial but that sometimes life is unfair and it goes unnoticed. But, one day, it will get noticed and be her greatest asset. How to weave herself throughout the American system of work, money, and the middle class.
- Her worth is not defined by standardized test scores or how many college acceptance letters she receives.
- High school ends.
- That I am up for whatever she is in the mood for on the days when she feels trapped by her life or seems sad.
- To communicate. To be straight forward and not hide behind texts or social media. To ignore someone is to take advantage of that person.
- How to know when to let go of toxic people and embrace the people who love her. People usually come into our lives and leave our lives when they are supposed to.
- To be prepared for pain, that it is inevitable, and that it will pass.
- To focus on people instead of objects. How she makes people feel instead of what she can receive from them.
- To control and define her sexuality. To never allow that to be defined by a man. That there is nothing wrong with being sexual. That females deserve to enjoy sex too. That she should not feel ashamed of her body or menstrual cycle. It is her body.
- Women will always be stronger than men because they can give birth.
- Not all women need to get married or have children.
- It is not her fault if she gets sexually assaulted, and that I will support her in whatever she chooses to do afterward.
- If someone hits her, he or she will likely hit her again.
- Having a baby will not save a marriage or relationship.
- That her first time will never be what she expects it to be, but that it needs to be with someone she trusts and someone that respects his or her friends and/or parents.
- What sex is and how America invests too much in it. The importance of trust, safety, birth control, regular testing, and self respect.
- That her makeup is not what makes her beautiful.
- That beauty is always what we can’t have. That confidence and intelligence is beauty.
- It’s okay to have feelings and cry and express emotions.
- To have opinions and speak them. But if she suspects that she is going to hurt someone’s feelings then she should stop and think. Vote and be an active member of society.
- Strong people apologize. Even if it’s not their fault. Weak people run away.
- I’ll be there for her when she needs to release. Even when she hates me. Pity parties, however, should not last forever.
- It’s okay if she’s gay, bisexual, queer, or questioning. I’ll love her if she realizes that she was assigned the wrong gender identity.
- Don’t run after trends or status symbols but rather authenticity and building genuine character.
- Being a thoughtful, sensitive, educated, and kind person is most important but that I’ll support her if she needs religion.
- Family is not limited to DNA.
- A relationship that begins with lies will end with lies.
- Good people do what’s right when no one is looking.
- Holding a grudge is a waste of time.
- Doing charity for the credit or tax write-off is not charity
- The meaning of life is to be good to one another and to make a positive difference in as many other people’s lives as possible.
- Her secrets are safe with me.
- To help those who cannot offer her a single thing.
- That I love her. Every day. That she is what I am most proud of.
- That I will always listen, even if I don’t like what she has to say.
- That she is never alone.
The Events in Ferguson will one day make a great movie for white people to feel guilty about and give an academy award to
and the story will revolve around a white journalist who ultimately realizes that wow, we’re all human
From the director of “The Help”
Before u make fun of someone’s foreign accent, take some time to think about how they speak more languages than u and how u are a failure
I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.
Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”